Friday, November 9, 2007

To the Hippies

Dear Hippies,

I am glad that you love the environment.  It is sadly neglected, and could use some good advocacy.  However, odds are it shouldn't be from you.  At least on this campus, your main pastimes seem to be smoking pot and pissing fellow students off with your shoddily organized protests.  Most recently, due to the limited foresight of both the police and a cadre of tree-sitters, the main road through campus was blocked.  This resulted in terrible traffic, making people late to classes, which is doubly unfortunate as it is midterm time.  For me at least, the kicker is that you are protesting a building that is getting built in a parking lot, cuts down no old growth trees, and is indefinitely delayed.  Congratulations.  You successfully brought your cause to the attention of your fellow students and the media.  Hopefully, people will not be lured in by the thrill of your asinine "revolutionary actions" which featured juvenile pranks such as pulling fire alarms and scrawling "No LRDP" on every surface you can find.  Thank you for pointing out that you don't like the LRDP, which everyone has known about for years.  Also, while pulling a fire alarm to disrupt a corporate office may be a brilliant piece of work that wastes thousands of dollars in company time, its just not cool on campus.  When you pull an alarm on campus, you are disrupting classes and wasting the tuition and time of the people you are ostensibly trying to help.  Your protests would be impressive, if they were not ineffectual, irritating and constant. 
Reading the LRDP resources page, and noting that cutting three acres of trees in the middle of campus takes immense amounts of paperwork, I think you could affect the process more by forcing reviews of the paper trail.  Look at the Biomed Facility, its tied up in legal issues.  Exploit the legal system, because it costs more and takes longer for the university to hire lawyers and go back through what was already done once, than to send police up to campus to mace protesters.  And trust me, they care about losing money.  Oh, I forgot, you're all about "fucking the system" and screwing "the man", so the practical solutions aren't acceptable. 
In conclusion, I don't care what you do, so long as when its something stupid I don't have to pay the price for it.  And when I do have to pay for it, don't expect me to support you.  You are taking environmentalism as a religion, with the result of making everyone else feel justified in dismissing you as crazy hippies.
Robert Alverson


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